Three Things I Learned
This past weekend (July 12-13, 2008) I learned that:
- It is not a good idea to wear a white summer dress to an Indian buffet for lunch.
- That you can get the book “The Art of Star Wars, Episode V – Empire Strikes Back” and pencil crayons (so I can finally start colouring my Star Wars colouring book) for $5 at a yard sale. Also (this is important!) the short Asian girl must be the one that shamelessly haggle down the price.
- If your cat is missing, and there is no way he could have ran outside, check to see if he has turned the bottom cover of your box spring into a hammock.
There has been some interest to see a size comparison of my big cat and myself. I’ve compiled photos for you to see. (Click for a full size view)
Del-Montyzuma’s Quirk #1
Monty is a very clean cat. He grooms himself constantly (despite his beard getting in the way most of the time), he never has “dingle berries” (which I’ve been told is common for long haired cats), and he sweeps after himself. During and after he eats, he uses his fuzzy front paws to sweep all food bits and dust under his food dish. When I sweep up at night, I simply have to lift it and sweep up the collected dirt. It’s awesome! See below!
Five Things You Should Know About Bryce
1. Believe Asians like him only because he can reach for things on their behalf.
I’m short (5′1″) and Bryce isn’t (6′1″). He helps me reach a lot of things I can’t…apparently so does a lot of other short people, who happen to be mostly Asians.
Excerpt from the lives of Jenn and Bryce.
Bryce: i think asian people only like me because i can reach for things they can’t
Jenn: you mean you’re good for OTHER things too?!
2. Likes (and will spend as much money on) shoes as I do.
He hates square toed, cheap shoes as much as I do.
Square toed shoes are not flaterring on anyone or any outfit. Stop wearing them! I’m glaring at you Asian guys that think square toed rubber soled shoes qualify as “dress shoes”.
Bryce polish his shoes. I thought only men over 50 yrs old to do such a thing nowadays.
3. Need to make a Star Wars reference at least every other day, or he’ll explode.
The first phrase his child will learn: “Han Solo shot first.”
You will catch him at random moments trying to “force choke” stupid people.
Excerpt from the lives of Jenn and Bryce:
Bryce: dear sweet merciful buddha, if only I could force choke people…
4. Cannot “raise the roof”, instead he “pushes the wall”.
You know that dance move? Yeah…
5. Is a self proclaimed jack-ass…
..which works out because I’m a self proclaimed bitch. We walk around and make fun of stupid people who make stupid decisions with their face, hair, outfit, relationships, life, etc. Bryce’s favourite are hipsters, mine are girls who cannot dress for their body type. How about you?
