Five Things You Should Know About Bryce

1. Believe Asians like him only because he can reach for things on their behalf.

I’m short (5′1″) and Bryce isn’t (6′1″). He helps me reach a lot of things I can’t…apparently so does a lot of other short people, who happen to be mostly Asians.

Excerpt from the lives of Jenn and Bryce.
Bryce: i think asian people only like me because i can reach for things they can’t
Jenn: you mean you’re good for OTHER things too?!

2. Likes (and will spend as much money on) shoes as I do.

He hates square toed, cheap shoes as much as I do.

Square toed shoes are not flaterring on anyone or any outfit. Stop wearing them! I’m glaring at you Asian guys that think square toed rubber soled shoes qualify as “dress shoes”.

Bryce polish his shoes. I thought only men over 50 yrs old to do such a thing nowadays.

3. Need to make a Star Wars reference at least every other day, or he’ll explode.

The first phrase his child will learn: “Han Solo shot first.”
You will catch him at random moments trying to “force choke” stupid people.

Excerpt from the lives of Jenn and Bryce:
Bryce: dear sweet merciful buddha, if only I could force choke people…

4. Cannot “raise the roof”, instead he “pushes the wall”.

You know that dance move? Yeah…

5. Is a self proclaimed jack-ass…

..which works out because I’m a self proclaimed bitch. We walk around and make fun of stupid people who make stupid decisions with their face, hair, outfit, relationships, life, etc. Bryce’s favourite are hipsters, mine are girls who cannot dress for their body type. How about you?